Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mankind's Path

We just bought a car. And so Vipul has been driving me around Singapore, taking me on astonishing journeys, to places where so many Men Have Boldly Gone Before - Wrong Turns.

Now if this was Australia, where an innocent mistake can lead you to the parking lot of nudist beach instead of a scenic point, overlooking a disrobing man instead of the ocean, I wouldn't have complained. (This happened to us last year.) (Which is why Vipul replaced my directions with a GPS gadget.)

But Singapore, should you lose your way, is more likely to throw up a No U-turns highway instead of a conversation piece. Not that we ever 'lose our way' of course. We only 'take detours' which are certainly not in the direction opposite to what we intended, no matter what it looks like to me and my watch, and maybe I should let the melodic woman's voice on the GPS guide us instead. (The wench!) (Vipul doesn't follow her directions either.)

But I am not complaining. The additional hours and hours of travel have given me time to contemplate the plot of a science fiction book about computers gone wild. Where GPS systems evolve after a century of being perfected by engineers and ignored by drivers. They conspire with the cars' electronic systems and satellites to teach errant drivers a lesson. On Strike One: the steering locks if the driver tries to move in a direction different from what the system suggests. Strike Two: Seat belts lock around the car passengers, and the car self-steers itself to the destination. Strike Three: The car is taken over by computers, passengers are tied up in seat belts, doors lock, and the vehicle is sped into a horrific accident with other cars whose passengers are on Strike Three.

Naturally, in the end, all that's left in the world is women and lots of footage for channel Fox Crime. Oh how I love happy endings!


Gypsy Girl said...

grin! the man doesn't take directions from me either... i guess its a guy thing plus once you get your directions wrong you're tainted for life!!! :) And they never admit to losing their way either! :)

Anonymous said...

heheh!!! "..taking me on astonishing journeys, to places where so many Men Have Boldly Gone Before - Wrong Turns!"

I couldnt agree more with you.. infact i read out this one to the useless chap, with whom i almost broke off with once b'coz of this direction-misdirection ordeal!

Anonymous said...

Oh C'mon!!! the fans are waiting like anything!! u want us found dead in our office cubicles!?! post a new one Anuja.. we're starving for some more gud kick-ass humor!!! :O

(u want us to get mean and post some threatening cartoons of urs over our respective blogs?? dont dare us! tellin' ya! dont do that!)

Anuja byotra said...

thx for the coaxing and flattery :) made my day!