Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wrapping up 2008

2008 has been a very exciting year for me, when I did a thousand interesting and adventurous things. Okay, not thousand, maybe like ten or twelve. Okay, okay, three or four.

But let's not digress. The point is that I've enough material to create a post about a year-end review, and we really shouldn't let memory come in the way of a memoir.

Here are my highlights of the year:

This month makes it to the list primarily on account of my attempted suicide. What I did is in common parlance called skiing. You may believe it is a popular sport, but that's like believing Paris Hilton is a popular singer. It essentially involves forcing oneself into sub-zero temperatures, tying one's feet onto slides, throwing oneself off a cliff, and falling split-legged or dying or both. It's the sort of thing young wives of insured old business tycoons encourage their husbands to experience, which is why the activity has acquired the aura of a macho, expensive, erm, sport.

(More of my trip here)

Speaking of interesting ways to end a marriage, in addition to Paris and skiing there's wakeboarding. Yah, it sounds ominously similar to the term waterboarding that Guantanomo made famous, but that's only fair.

'Wake' stands for the wavy, unstable track a boat leaves behind over water as it speeds. 'Boarding' stands for seeing your life flash by.

Of course, this is not something I realised when we reached the sea, because wakeboarding looks rather non-threatening to begin with, and seems nowhere near as scary as, say, Himesh Reshammiya with his new hair. Indeed, I was underwhelmed by the sight of the young and the muscled adrift on waves, casually brushing away their stray flying hair with one hand while steering their path with the other. Not the sort of thing I was prepared for, having just taken an insurance on my husband's life.

Which is why I thought let me give it a try. And try I did. First, tried to stand . Then reduced my efforts and tried not to fall on my face. And finally tried only to convince Vipul he should try it. Failed on all counts.

Anyway, long story short, wakeboarding may look as easy and comfortable as a bird taking to flight; it is about just as appropriate for humans to undertake.

[Yah yah, so I did only two interesting and adventurous things in 2008. Big deal. Tomorrow is another year.]

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I am : not definable by just a single sentence!

I think : therefore I am a woman

I know : the lyrics to an ipod-ful of songs

I want : the voice to be able to sing them outside the bathroom

I have : the ability to not get embarrassed

I wish : I had superpowers, lots of them

I hate : violence

I miss : all the various pet cats I have had

I fear : street dogs and cockroaches

I hear : but I don't listen to any advice whatsoever

I smell : bad breath from a mile away

I crave : haircuts, all the time, but hold myself back

I search : for new hairstylists, all the time, because the last one was either awful or has gone missing

I wonder : if I'm turning into my mom

I regret : a long long list of decisions

I love : romance

I ache : after gym, but this time I will not stop working out, I will not suddenly give up, I will get that toned bod, blah blah ha ha

I was not : born witty, but

I am not : going to give up trying

I cry : in secret.

I believe : if you can't guess I am weeping, you don't deserve to know about it

I dance : Bollywood style, complete with lip synching, jhatkas, matkas and slow motion sequences.

I sing : at volumes lower than the speakers so you won't hear me.

I read : a book if I get hooked at the first page

I don't always : nag my husband

I fight : less than is popularly believed

I write : less than I should

I win : no fans for my shopping style

I lose : no opportunity to bargain

I never : buy without trying

I always : visit as many shops as I can

I confuse : shopkeepers by trying on fifty dresses and then ultimately buying nothing but a pair of shoes at first glance

I listen : with my eyes as much as with my ears

I can usually be found : lost in thought

I am scared : more at night than during the day

I need : quite a few things, but I have them all

I am happy : and that's an understatement

I imagine : that's why I lack ambition !

I tag: anyone who wants to take this on

Oh! and I thank Q for pulling me back from the dead with this tag!